Dad As Daughter pt.1
Imagine for a moment that the child you have is a daughter, and you being her dad are finding yourself with her as her caretaker!!! Oh Nooooooo!!! (Cue home alone scenario!!)
Take a breath and just read on… This should prove to be a bit of help! This is a great time and a great opportunity to start role-playing. Imagine that you are a famous newspaper magazine and your daughter is the star of a popular TV show! Take this opportunity to ask as many age appropriate questions as you can because this is an opportunity to not only figure out more about her but also figure out more about how to best care for her and guide her.
Questions such as: 1. what is your favorite toy to play with, and why?
2. What is your favorite time of day? Why is it special?
3. Who is your hero?
4. If you could be any animal, which one would you pick?
5. How would you plan to make the world a better place?
You can use each answer to each question to take your adventure in any direction that you like, this will serve as a bond between yourself and your daughter. Another interesting thing you can try is imagine you are both starring in a cooking show, you can use the same formula to understand and initiate creative ways to prepare meals as well as trying different foods which is always a common struggle for new parents as well as parents in general.
It’s worth mentioning that the bond between a father and a daughter is unlike the bond between a father and a son. The daughter is going to look to her dad has her hero as well as her knight in shining armor and this sets the tone for the type of person she will become as well as the type of person she will choose to be with to share her life. So modeling the type of behavior best suitable for your daughter simply comes from the way she is treated by you and the way she sees you treating other people. If you are super daring, and I’ll bet that you are, you can even play dress up! This consists of exactly what you think it does and it’s not in anyway humiliating, it’s actually empowering because you’re showing yourself to be the fun loving, open-minded person that you want her to become. Modeling this behavior as a long term proposition. This comes in the form of being willing to turn your brain back into child mode, which a lot of adults have trouble doing… Myself included… But never forgetting how to play is so important in child rearing and in our day-to-day life. We tend to be more busy, we don’t leave very much time for play and leisure in our culture, so this downtime you have at home with your child allows you to indulge in a behavior that is so cathartic that it gives you a fresh focus for your adult life with your adult situations and might even give you a perspective that is the key to the lock you’ve been trying to pick. The younger your child is will determine the questions and play that you engage in, while the older your child becomes the bond you established in their adolescence is tighter and stronger. Therefore there is enough trust here to be able to engage in conversation that is a little bit more intimate, serious, and adult orientated moving this daughter father relationship forward into the young adult stage is going to be a very satisfying experience as well as very sad one because now your a little girl is a woman looking for someone that reminds her of you!!!
This is another attempt to illustrate the crucial role that being an engaged father in your children’s life will determine the environment that we all live in. It’s never too late to start, it’s never too late to look for places that provide instructions or directions, and it’s so much more rewarding to take a little bit a humility to ask for that help so that down the road you can rest assured that your children are the people you’re glad to have released to the world.