When it goes south…

How often have you found yourself in a space where it all seems like it’s going wrong? Where you don’t know who you can reach out to, or that no one can understand? It’s so much easier to wallow and wade then rise up and go out…

Often we use the time we have when things are going well to just live, go about our business and deal with our every day stuff. It’s so hard to enact a plan when we feel like it’s all going good! It’s even harder to notice that there was a time when things went south, but this is THE time to make our bid for peace and calm. See, our minds are busy juggling literally thousands of thoughts minute by minute. When we are stressed those thoughts are clouded or even dimmed by the stressor. Clear thinking only comes from practicing clear thinking, and that comes with knowing how to process thoughts. We have an amazing capacity to calculate the outcomes, pro or con, of a given situation at light speed. We can definitely alter this thinking into a bad/worse situation or a better/best situation depending on how we feel. Something as simple as counting breaths can keep us focused on the forward momentum of the march of our lives. Conversely- we are typically our own worst enemy as well. When things aren’t going our way we hit a speed bump, sometimes we even call to the next negative thing to happen simply by expecting it. Just like anything in life, we have to train ourselves to get our minds to a positive thought chain. This is achieved in multiple ways, but we have to find the one that fits us best and is easy to call on when things go south.

Bad behavior is conditioned the same as good behavior. We exercise bad behavior over and over because we are stuck in the loop of bouncing off that wall. It becomes our lot, or so we think. We make bad choices based on situations or the people we associate with. Sometimes we can contribute to bad behavior because it lights up a part of our brain that makes us feel something, for better or worse. When in this cycle it’s hard to see it for what it is, it takes a lot of time, energy and work to break away from this pattern. There are also multiple versions and multiple levels, not to mention multiple reasons/excuses/situations that keep us from checking out and moving on. How often have you re-evaluated your life, your station, or your values? When we feel stuck, do you reach out or isolate? Do you hear that little voice in your mind that tells you your problem is at an end, or that it will always be this way?
I’m happy to say- this is a very common situation for lots and lots of folks. Mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, etc… whether you’re single, married, or whatever your situation looks like. There have been studies and studies on the way you feel, or to put it another way- you are not alone!!!

It’s someone’s job to help, actually there are many many books written and videos made that can get you started on the path of finding those precious rays of sunlight that light up your world and make life just a little bit sweeter!! All you need is an investment in time, energy, and a willingness to jump in and give it a try!! There is a feeling that it can’t be this simple, or how could I have not seen this? That is the narcotic quality of complacency… All I have to do is ride it out everything will get better if I just ride it out. I am here to tell you unequivocally that the effort you put forward in making that uncomfortable decision to try something new will return to you in spades in the new life that you create for yourself as a result of your willingness to change this bad behavior into quality living. If you ever get to a point when you find yourself saying this can’t be all there is, it can’t get any worse… Reach out!!! Somebody always has it worse, somebody has experienced something very similar and more often than not those of the people who are reaching into the community trying to give you the roadmap out of the quagmire you find yourself in. It’s not comfortable, it’s not easy, and it requires an awful lot of investment. But you’re worth it, your children are worth it, your family is worth it!!! But to be frank, this might not be the time that you ride off into that sunset with the girl, or the boy, however this will give you another opportunity to ride off into another sunset at another time, and that time just may be the time your movie, your chapter was supposed to be written. Let’s help you write it together my friend… go head, I’m listening (::)